12个Facebook 上的搞笑对话

网络之大,无奇不有。从网站搜罗了12个超笑的脸书对话。


↑ 咖: 痛苦,耶稣总是跟我过不去。
贝: 真的?这是给你的磨练,只要不停地祷告,慢慢会好起来的。耶稣的作为是不寻常的哦……
咖: 贝,耶稣是我14岁儿子,他打了门卫,被停课一天。
(link) # 在南美州”耶稣”是很常见的男生名字。

 
↑ 利:我要向世界宣布:我要去死啦!恭僖你们这些早就看不惯我的XX啦!
泰:?
蕊:嗨,没事吧?
多:利,请不要冲动!我们都很爱你。那些看不惯你的人才要去死呢。不要做傻事!<3
恺:“恭喜”写错咯。
(link)


↑ 珍的状态为单身。
嘉:你跟爹地离婚了?
珍:对,我忘了告诉你了。
(link)


↑ 马:销魂一夜。饥渴=大破
马娘喜欢这个
马:妈,草泥
马娘:哦,怎么取消?
梅:哈哈哈哈哈哈
(link) # 学英语时间:dry spell原意为大旱,可以指田野、庄稼、灵感、哦哦叉叉等。


↑ 德:真他妈的。
周:怎么了?
德:米儿可能怀孕了,我已经拼死拼活地养着一个孩子了,实在生不起呀
周:确实挺倒霉的,不过我倒是有个好消息……
德:虾米?
周:戴套套就可以省下奶粉钱哪。
(link) # 你是说生出来之后把套套戴婴儿头上吗?


↑ 曼的状态为在谈恋爱。
爽:喔喔,恭喜!
麦:上床不代表我在跟你谈恋爱。
(link)


↑ 马:真爱好难。我要酒。
珍喜欢这个
珍:又谈恋爱啦?没看出来呀。
丽:你就是嫉妒他选择了我,而不是你这个丑瘪三。
珍:一26岁失业青年拖着一笨猪。我真看不出他怎么会不头疼!
马:我的猪猪不笨
(link) # 啊,好头疼的对话。


↑ 莱的状态从订婚变成单身。
安:哦也!:)
百:不妙。
莱:我未婚夫死于银行劫持。
百:更不妙。抱歉,莱。
米:我也抱歉,莱……不过,安……?为什么你说“哦也”?咱俩不是好好的吗?
笛:哦,安,你想趁虚而入呀。自己有女朋友还跟别人暧昧,并且完全不顾莱的感受。终于现形了吧。
(link)


↑ J:明天是我21年学校生涯的第一天(18年读书+8年教书)为什么他们不让我干别的呢?我不要整天教书了,我要换个工作,嗯,就从明天开始:)
E:总共不是26年吗?幸好你不是教数学的:)
(link) # 老大,知道什么叫助教吗?


↑ 佳与曼订婚
苒:什么??????????
曼:希望你不要生气
苒:没有生气,我是他妈,他从来没提过这件事…我现在很乱……
佳:我真阿弥陀佛订婚啦!只是还没来得及打电话给任何人。真是恨这可恶的社交网站。
(link) # 您老人家倒是别用啊。


↑ 劳:天哪!我刚在音乐电视上看到海地的爆炸,伤心,想捐钱但是不知道怎么捐?!?!
咖:呃其实是地震,不过你可以编辑手机短信“海地”发送到90999,就从话费扣10刀
劳:!!!太好啦!!!谢!
伟:你也可以编辑“笑话”发送到44686。这个更好,并且能给海地捐更多钱。
劳:谢谢你,伟,你是最棒的!
特:额地个娘啊,伟……
劳:伟,那个没有提到海地,只有一个笑话。
伟:对,就是那样的。那些是海地儿童写的笑话。这是他们向你表达谢意的方式。
劳:哇!!!好棒哦~!谢谢你,伟!
(link) # ……炸开花的海地儿童向您发来愚人节的生日问候。


↑ 喀:我刚刚发送200次“海地”到90999……超过2000美刀将被捐到海地。一起来吧!
诺:你家长看了这个月的电话费该怒了。
喀:不是花我家的钱,哈哈
喀:等一下…该不是从话费里扣的吧?我以为这是免费的…
艾:喀,不。每条都是10美刀!!!
喀:哦,真的吗?我死定了。
艾:真的。我看球赛时候看到的,他们从你话费里扣。
克:没错,每条都是10刀。卫生所的阿姨过来讲的。呵,叫谁帮你付账单呢?
喀:谢谢你们告诉我!哈哈,海地一定爱死我了!
恺:2000块钱的电话费?你还真能笑得出来。
艾:嗯……你完了,但是起码这些钱用在了需要的地方。
喀:刚数了一下…总共发了188条,1880的电话费…我没有笑,恺!
(link) # 这孩子的智商也有待商榷了。

欢迎大家分享自己看到过的社交网站如从网,不开心网,或XX微博上的有趣对话。(无图无真相)from jandan

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